Sosvulondovah
by BlueGolem
Summary: The Dragonborn, the Lord of the Night is summoned along with a young girl from a world far different from his own are summoned to be the familiars of a young mage who fails at all her spells. How will the Dragonborn's presence affect Tristainia? Will the undead dovah find love? Will I quit bullshiting you with this summary? FemSaito, Godlike Dragonborn.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well finally decided to start writing my new crossover! There are some things I am going to cover though. 1. There will probably be no pairings in this crossover (I don't like the chicks in Familiar of Zero). 2. My Dragonborn will appear in all my other crossovers for now. 3. Shit happens. 4. I will make Louise summon the Dragonborn & a female Saito. Why you ask? For no f#%king reason. 5. I will censor profanities cause I think its funnier that way. Now on with the show!**

In a plane known as Mundus, in the northern province of Skyrim, there sat a castle. But this was not the famous Blue Castle, home to High Queen Elisif the Fair, it was a decrypt castle surrounded by a sea of ice. This castle was known to the people of Skyrim to contain the most terrifying vampire clan ever to roam their homeland's nights; Clan Volikar. But by now most of Skyrim's people have heard that Clan Volikar was obliterated by the noble vampire hunters the Dawnguard. But if someone happened to go into Castle Volikar & meticulously search they would find a lacquered ebony coffin in a room secluded at the farthest northern point in the ancient castle. This immaculate looking casket held the scourge of dragons, the champion of Oblivion's Princes, & the most powerful creature to roam the frozen tundras of Skyrim & his name was-

"Shut the hell up!"

Shit hes awake.

"Damn right I'm awake! Now get the hell out of my castle you little f$%ker!" Cried the coffin.

Okay okay, I'll go!...asshole.

"Hey wait a minute! How long have I been asleep?" Varen asked as he opened his casket.

I don't know...two months?

"Thanks, now get the hell out." The Dunmer deadpanned.

What?!

"You heard me."

…Fine.

"Shit...that was a nice nap." The said Varen stated sleepily.

The Dark Elf Vampire Lord Varen: the Dragonborn of legend, the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, the Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold, the Harbinger of the Companions, etc-era etc-era, was waking up after his long slumber in the castle he had come to know as home. Of course he did not hold these titles any more as the torch had passed to others. _"F%^kers all kicked me out after I became a vampire."_ Varen thought as he walked to the dining hall. The dining hall of Castle Volikar used to host over a dozen high-ranking vampires every night but now it held only one half asleep Dunmer. _"_

_With no appetite for human flesh, organs, or just humans altogether." _He smirked slightly at the thought.

The only reason he came in here in the morning(?) was because he had his cool ass throne in here.

"Bitches better recognize." Varen said to himself with an evil looking grin.

"**Talking to yourself are you boy? You known that is considered mad, don't you?" **Said a voice emanating from everywhere.

"Aw shit,... Sheo what do you want?!" The vampire lord yelled at nothing in particular.

"**Now Varen my dear boy, is that any way to talk to your elders?"**

"It is when they're bat-shit crazy!" Varen replied leaning forward in the before mentioned cool ass throne.

"**You wound me sir! You know perfectly well that I'm mad!"**

"No shit, you had me go into a realm of Oblivion made out of f^&king cheese!" The Dunmer yelled jumping out of his throne. "Now what the hell do you want?"

"**Fine I'll be frank. You & some girl from another plane of existence will be summoned to be the familiars to a little girl who can only make explosions when she attempts to do a spell. That enough details boy."**

The mad god noticed that Varen had his mouth open in amazement.

"**What is it boy?" **Asked Sheogorath with interest.

"That was the sanest thing I have ever heard you say in my life. & I've known you for a hundred years."

The god rolled his eyes. **"Was that all you have to say?"**

"Is she hot?" The vampire asked with some interest.

"**Shes a chibi."**

"...fine. How do I get there?"

"**Wait for it...now!"**

Varen gave a yelp as he found himself in the middle of...nowhere. Now Varen was used to unusual situations but being in a place where there was _nothing_ to do was a pain in the ass. With that in mind the vampire lord had only one thing to say. He took a deep breath then proceeded to yell loudly,

"F^&K YOU SHEOGORATH!"

**On that note lets end this chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **_Italic=thoughts/emphasis_, **Bold=Words with power in them(Kind of like putting his power into the words)/Shouts.**

**Chapter 2**

When we last left Vaden he was sent to the Void by Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, to await the day he was summoned to be a familiar to an unknown mage. The Void, the realm of Sithis, was a plane of utter desolation, where the Daedra & the planes of Oblivion spawn. This is where the Mad God sent the Dragonborn to spend an indefinite amount of time while his summoner prepared to summon him. One can only imagine the extreme measures that the Vampire Lord had to take to keep his sanity in this barren plane-

"Will you shut up already!"

I'm out!

"You better run you little milk-drinker! Plane of utter desolation my ass, this place looks like a freaking purple whirlpool!"

Contrary to popular belief the Void did look like a huge violet maelstrom. Sithis also was physically manifested in the Void as a dark looking man in a nobleman's clothes, with purely black eyes that could burn a hole through a mortal man's soul.

"_Good thing I'm immortal." _Vaden thought with a small smile that the Dread Father did not miss.

"**What are you thinking about my Listener?"** Sithis inquired.

"Nothing, just something what-his-face said." Vaden replied lazily, slightly stretching his arms out as he finished.

"**You know you are about to be summoned right?"** The Dread Father asked.

"Seriously?!" The Vampire Lord yelled as he gave a start.

"**Seriously. You should start hearing the summoner's call soon."**

As the Sithis said this Vaden realized that he could hear a little girls voice chanting a summoning call, something about a divine, wise, beautiful familiar.

"_Divine? Nope. Wise? Sorta. Beautiful? You're making me blush."_ Vaden thought with a smirk that Sithis _definitely_ did not miss.

"**Do not take this girl lightly Listener, she wields my power through she has not realized it yet."**

"Really? This should be interesting." Said Vaden.

Through the two immortals' conversation Vaden was drawn backwards as a green circle that radiated magic materialized behind him.

"**Take care my Listener. This new world is very different from Nirn."** Sithis warned.

"Hey, it's me. Nothing over there could be worse than me." Vaden replied with a hint of cockiness as he crossed the threshold of the circle. With that the Dragonborn left the Void, never again to return to it or Nirn.

…..._**Line Break!**_

Louise Francoise Le Blanc De La Valliere was a nervous wreck inside, but you would not think that if you looked at her. You would see a girl with a calm & regal disposition that befitted the status of noble that she carried. Today in Tristainia second year students at Tristain's academy of magic would be summoning their lifelong partners, their familiars, to be bound to each other. By now most of the students had summoned their familiars. A menagerie of creatures normal & mystical alike now filled the grounds of the summoning field. Louise was having a _slight_ panic attack as she realized that she was the only one that had not summoned a familiar & would therefore be called out soon to begin the ritual.

"_Okay, _The pinkete thought, _you can do this. You're a Valliere for Brimir's sake!"_But even as Louise thought this she could feel her doubt grow.

"Miss Valliere!" Professor Colbert called out.

"Here!" She managed to squeak out.

As she walked up to the summoning circle she could her the hurtful whispers aimed at her.

"Look its the Zero duck & cover." "Think she'll summon anything?" "Are you kidding? She'll probably blow up the circle."

Louise ignored the whispered jeers as she began the summoning ritual she had slaved over for a fore night.

"My wise, divine, & beautiful familiar that exists somewhere in this universe! Here my call & appear!"

As she finished she pointed at the summoning circle. It's runes stared to glow an ethereal blue color... then promptly exploded.

The explosion caused everyone except Louise to be blown back a good seven feet. As the dust cleared a well endowed girl with red hair started to taunt the small girl.

"Hah! Looks like all the Zero could summon was another explosion!"She jeered loudly.

But her insults were lost on Louise as she stared at the spot where the explosion occurred. As the smoke started to clear she saw two figures in the smoke.

"Professor Colbert, there's something in the smoke!" Louise called out with a hint of hope in her voice.

A student with blue hair & glasses waved her wand causing a gust a wind to clear the remaining smoke. When the smoke was finally cleared she saw clearly the two figures she had noticed earlier.

One was a young girl in odd blue & black garments who had raven hair & bright grey eyes. She looked confused & slightly frightened as she looked at her surroundings. The other figure however was male & much more impressive looking. He had a long mane of crimson hair that looked not unlike blood; his skin was dark color that was not like Zerbest's tan skin but almost completely black. His attire was one that would befit nobility as it was clearly expertly made with rich dark red cloth & quality looking metal pieces attached to it. But the feature that most caught everyone's attention was the man's pointed ears.

"Elf!" Everyone cried.

The figure heard this & looked at the students who recoiled at the elf's eyes.

"_His eyes are glowing yellow!" _Louise thought.

The elf then looked at Professor Colbert & asked, "Why's everyone freaking out, did I destroy something already? That would be a new record." The elf said in perfect Tristainian.

"Back elf! You will not harm my students!" Professor Colbert cried as he took a defensive stance.

"I don't want to harm your students baldy! **So back down!**" The elf said commandingly.

To the students shock the Professor did so with a look a bewilderment on his face.

"What are you?" He asked curiously.

"Besides bad ass? I'm a Dunmer or Dark Elf take your pick." The newly identified Dark Elf said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"A Dark Elf?" Professor Colbert said with a curious gleam in his eyes.

"Yeah you know there's Dark Elves, Wood Elves, High Elves, & Orcs. Basic Mer stuff." The Elf replied.

"There are four types of elves?!" Professor Colbert asked amazed.

"Where I come from yeah there are." The Elf said a little annoyed by now. "Now look where's my summoner?" He asked testily.

"Oh right, Miss Valliere!" The Professor called.

Louise came up to the elf shakily as if she was a little bit weak in the knees. "Y-Yes?" She asked afraid.

"You should attend to the other girl before me." Said the _Dark_ Elf.

"R-Right away!" Louise squeaked out

"Good, Now lets talk about where in Oblivion I am." He said turning to the Professor.

"That would be a good idea I think." Professor Colbert sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but you know... school(shudders). Anyway I have to tell you I may have to take some time off after the Foquet part, since I have not watched the anime in TWO FREAKING YEARS! What was I about to say? Oh yeah, I already have some ideas on where to send Vaden next, but I need some help deciding. Please review & say where I should send him out of these choices: Bleach, Rosario + Vampire, Dragon Age Origins, or Negima! Magister Negi Magi. I'm going to send him to all of these places at some point but where should I send him next? Review & say where you want me to send him next. Now I forgot to do this last time & I'm only going to do this _once_(takes a deep breath) UTIMETE DISCLAIMER OF ALL TIME! I OWN JACKS#!T! YOU CANNOT SUE MY ASS NOW! BLUEGOLEM OUT!**

**Bold= Words with Power, **_Italics= thoughts/emphasis, __Italics Underlined=Surprise!_

…**_...~Line __Break~__(shh)_...**

Akane Hiraga was not having a good day. In fact if an old man in a purple suit started to force feed her cheese & talk about jumping rope with her intestines, she would probably laugh it off.

"_How the hell did my day get this crazy?" _She asked herself.

That's my cue. Roll the flashback!

Akane was walking down the street going to her local computer repair shop to(you guessed it) get her laptop fixed, when she noticed in the middle of the road was a green portal, so naturally she proceeded to flip the f*$k out.

"_Holy freaking shit, there's a floating green portal in the middle of the road! Why the hell is no one freaking out?! There's a freaking portal in Japan! What kind of f%^ked up anime is this?!" _Thought Akane.

But when she noticed every one else on the street was passing it she decided to get a little closer to see what it was.

"_I really hope this thing doesn't tentacle rape me." _Was her last thought as she was pulled into the portal & lost conciseness.

That answers her question right? I thought so. Now to Noble Asshole Land!

…...

When Akane woke up she was confused.

"_Why am I sleeping on grass? Why is there smoke everywhere? Did I get tentacle raped?"_

As if in response to some of her questions(not the tentacle thing, even I can't answer that... for now) a gust of wind cleared the smoke from the area, showing that she was sitting in a small circle on the grass. She was encircled by teens in cloaks carrying...wands.

"_Why are these people holding wands & wearing cloaks? Did I get kidnapped by Harry Potter fans?"_

She must have looked as scared as she felt because the kids also looked confused. Why was there a commoner in the summoning circle? But their attention was quickly directed elsewhere as the Harry Potter fans looked scared as hell of something to her right. When she looked she saw man that looked _a lot_ different from the others. He was wearing what looked liked an old fashioned red & black armor with a cape clasped with an odd crest that was silver & red. The man was tall with long crimson hair that matched his long beard. His skin was a dark black color that looked odd on with his red hair, but not unpleasantly so. What surprised Akane the most out of his appearance was that he had _pointed_ ears & _glowing _eyes.

"_What the f#$k?!"_ Akane thought. _"Why the hell is there a scary ass old elf next to me?!"_

Don't tell her! It'll ruin the story!

As she lay there contemplating her situation the elf had finished his conversation with the Harry Potter fans & one was coming over to her. When she was right in front of her Akane started to take notice of H.P.F. It was a short girl with pink eyes & hair clothed like the rest of them but she was blushing like crazy.

"_Why's she blushing?"_ As Akane thought this she was saying something she couldn't understand while waved her wand around then... she kissed her.

"Whoa whoa whoa! What the hell are you doing?!" Cried Akane.

All of a sudden she felt a sharp pain in her left hand. When she looked down she saw that her hand was glowing & smoking like she was being branded, which was SO NOT COOL! Then she heard a deep voice ask,

"You alright there lass?"

…...

Vaden was looking on in interest as his summoner went over to the other person she had summoned. He noticed she was wearing an odd black & grey suit that looked like it was made out of some kind of weird material. Her hair was a dark black like Serana had but with grey eyes instead of red, but what was most interesting was the fact that her aura was different than any he seen before. It was...strange to say the least; normally a human's aura would be simple because every human had a red aura, but hers seemed more advanced. It was more contained to her form than others with bits & pieces of silver mixed in, like she had metal in her aura. Speaking of her form she seemed to be young, maybe sixteen winters old with pale skin like a Nord, but without the fair hair. Her bust was so-so, not like an engorgement spell gone wrong(which I had the pleasure of beholding first _hand_), but they weren't like their summoner's(aka washboard level) either. When he started to watch what his summoner was going to do he did not expect _this_ to happen. She had walked up to the girl & proceeded to go on about some guy named Brimir, tap her on the forehead, _& kiss her on the lips!_ That was a pleasant surprise, until it occurred to him that he would also have to be kissed by a girl that looked like a child. He was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of the girl flipping out & scrambling away from the summoner. The girl then started to clutch her hand in pain as her body stared to steam & her hand started to glow.

"_Now that was surprising. I should probably check on her." _He thought as he walked over to the girl who had stopped steaming(literally).

"You alright there lass?" He asked with genuine concern. He might have been a jack-ass, but he was chivalrous(kind of) if he was anything.

"_& I am a lot of things?"_ Vaden thought with a smirk.

The said smirk had an odd effect on the girl as her eyes got as wide as dinner plate(which he was sure that was impossible) as she got to her feet & yelled.

"Holy shit, I can understand you!"

"You couldn't before? If so I should have said what was on my mind since you couldn't understand anyway." Vaden said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Anyway back to my question. You alright?"

"Yeah, besides being in a completely different place than I was a second ago, being kissed on the lips by a chibi, & having the shit scared out of me by a black elf looking guy with glowing yellow eyes." She said with words heavilylaced with sarcasm.

"Girl, you are on the path to being a master smart-ass. I like you already." Vaden said with a wide grin.

Vaden then felt a tap on his shoulder; as he turned to see who it was he heard some chanting that sounded familiar, then felt somebody kiss him on the lips.

"Oh shit! I forgot about the chibi girl!" Vaden yelled as he jumped back in surprise. That surprise did not last long as he felt a burning pain in his left arm. He looked over at his arm to see that the cloth was being burnt off due to the heat of the contract's seal or whatever. His left arm from his bicep to his wrist was glowing as runes were etched onto his skin. The Dragonborn had felt an immeasurable amount of agony in his life so he had only one thing to say as the glow started to fade.

"Mother f%^ker that stings like a bitch! Seriously what the hell, she gets her hand branded & I get my whole arm & my sleeves burnt off! What the f%^k!" Vaden would have continued his rant if not for the glowing stopping completely. The runes on his arm circled around his arm leaving no room for anything else to be put down. They did not look familiar to him, but at the same time they felt familiar, as if they had been there for years & he was just now noticing them. The students were gaping at his arm(his summoner included) when the professor from earlier came up to him positively bursting with excitement & curiosity.

"This is incredible! No other familiar's runes have been this large! You have to let me examine them Mr..."

"Vaden. Just Vaden would be fine. An these "examinations" better be about these runes." Spoke Vaden jokingly.

"O-of course!" Stuttered Professor Colbert. "Class dismissed! Go back to your rooms!"

As the students flew back to their dormitories Vaden turned to his new master & fellow familiar & said.

"Lets go to your room now _Master, _we all need to talk."

**End of Chapter.**

**Review & may the cheese be with you!**


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